Ask hospitality managers which part of the job they dread, and difficult conversations come up more than anything else. More than the Saturday rush, more than the stocktake, more than the inspector. So most of them get put off. The late arrivals get a sigh instead of a chat, the sloppy closing gets fixed by someone else, and the problem grows until it arrives all at once as a formal process, a resignation, or a team that has quietly concluded the standards don't really apply.
The cost isn't only to the business. Your best people notice when poor performance goes unaddressed, and it's one of the less-discussed reasons good staff leave. They don't mind hard work. They mind carrying colleagues while nobody does anything about it.
This post covers the whole range, from the two-minute word after service to the formal disciplinary, and how to handle each fairly.
A general overview for employers in Great Britain, not legal advice. Employment law is changing under the Employment Rights Act, and the right approach to a specific case depends on its facts. ACAS offers free guidance and a helpline, and it's worth taking advice before dismissing anyone.
Start by working out which problem you have
Before you say anything, be clear which of three situations you're in. They need different conversations.
A performance problem (capability). They're trying, but the work isn't at the standard. Slow on the section, inaccurate orders, weak product knowledge. The usual causes are training, confidence, fit for the role, or something going on outside work.
A conduct problem. They know what's expected and aren't doing it. Lateness, rudeness, ignoring procedures, phone on the floor. This is about choices, not skill.
Something more serious. Theft, violence, harassment, serious breaches of food safety or licensing rules, turning up unfit to work. This may be gross misconduct and goes straight to a proper investigation.
Most managers treat all three the same way, usually by getting annoyed. Diagnosing first means you can have the right conversation: support and training for capability, clear expectations and consequences for conduct, a formal process for serious matters.
Most issues should be handled informally, and early
The ACAS Code encourages employers to deal with minor issues informally where they can. In hospitality that is almost always the right place to start, and it's where most problems should end.
A good informal conversation is:
- Soon. The same shift or the next one. Feedback about something from three weeks ago feels unfair and surprising.
- Private. Never in front of the team or guests. The office, the end of the bar after close, a walk to the bins if that's all you've got.
- Specific. "You were twenty minutes late on Friday and Sunday" beats "your timekeeping isn't great". Describe what happened, not what kind of person they are.
- Two-way. Ask what's going on. Surprisingly often there's a reason: a changed bus route, childcare, a health problem, confusion about the rota. You can't fix what you haven't heard.
- Clear about what happens next. What needs to change, by when, and what support you'll give.
Then write a short note for yourself: date, what was discussed, what was agreed. It isn't a formal warning and you don't need to present it as one. But if the problem continues, you'll be very glad to have a record showing you raised it fairly and early.
A simple structure helps if you find these conversations hard. We cover a few that work well on a busy floor in feedback frameworks for hospitality managers.
When informal doesn't work: the formal process
If the problem continues, or it's serious enough to skip the informal stage, you move to a formal procedure. Your own written disciplinary policy should set this out. The ACAS Code of Practice on disciplinary and grievance procedures is the benchmark tribunals use, and they can adjust compensation by up to 25% where an employer has unreasonably failed to follow it.
In outline, the Code expects employers to:
- Establish the facts. Investigate before deciding anything. Talk to witnesses, check the rota, the till records or the CCTV. For serious cases, the person investigating should ideally not be the one who later decides the outcome.
- Tell the employee in writing. Explain what the problem is, share the evidence, and invite them to a meeting, with enough notice to prepare.
- Hold a meeting. Let them explain and respond to the evidence before you reach any decision.
- Allow them to be accompanied. Workers have a statutory right to bring a colleague or a trade union representative to a disciplinary hearing.
- Decide and confirm in writing. What action is being taken, why, what improvement is expected, over what period, and what happens if it doesn't improve.
- Offer a right of appeal. Ideally heard by someone who wasn't involved in the original decision.
Small independent operators often find step 6 the hardest because there's nobody else to hear the appeal. An owner, an external HR adviser, or a manager from a sister site can all work. What matters is that the appeal is a genuine second look.
Running the meeting itself
Whether it's an informal chat or a formal hearing, the meeting is where most managers struggle. A few things make a real difference.
Prepare what you'll say first. Write down your opening two sentences. In a difficult conversation the first thirty seconds set the tone, and nerves make people either ramble or go too hard.
Get to the point quickly. Small talk before bad news makes it worse. "Thanks for sitting down. I want to talk about how the close has been left on your last three shifts."
Stick to evidence. Dates, times, what was seen. If you find yourself saying "people have been saying…", stop. Either you have specifics or you don't.
Let silence work. After you've described the problem, stop talking and let them respond. The explanation you need often comes in the pause you'd usually fill.
Separate the person from the behaviour. "The allergen process wasn't followed on table twelve" is something they can fix. "You're careless" is something they'll argue with.
End with clarity. Before anyone leaves the room, both of you should be able to say what's expected, by when, and what support there is.
The hospitality-specific traps
A few things catch managers in this industry more than most.
- Mid-service confrontations. Pulling someone aside during a rush to tell them off feels decisive and nearly always backfires. Deal with safety issues instantly. Everything else can wait until after service.
- Inconsistent standards between shifts. If the Tuesday duty manager accepts lateness and the Saturday one doesn't, any disciplinary action is hard to defend and the team knows it. Agreeing standards across your duty managers is half the work.
- Probation used as a substitute for management. A probationary period is for assessing fit with real feedback along the way, not for saying nothing for three months and then letting someone go.
- Alcohol and drugs at work. Have a written policy before you need one, and apply it to everyone. Staff drinks culture makes this one especially easy to get wrong.
Don't forget what comes after
The conversation isn't the end of it. Follow up on the date you agreed. If things have improved, say so clearly. Many managers forget this step, and it's the one that makes the whole thing feel fair rather than like a punishment. If they haven't improved, you have a documented basis for the next step.
Handled well, most of these conversations never need a formal process. The team member knows where they stand, the standard holds, and everyone else sees that problems get dealt with. That's good for retention, not bad for it.
Making managers confident at this
Very few hospitality managers are trained to have these conversations. They learn by getting it wrong, which is expensive for them and for the business. Practising with real scenarios in a safe room is the fastest fix we know, and it's the core of our Coaching & Feedback Conversations workshop. For the compliance side, such as written policies, HR training and records, see our iHASCO partnership.